As u guys know now, I am working part time again for the first time in four years!! Its going great, but I am hurting quite a bit. Is it from adjusting to a new schedule, or am I gonna be able to handle it?? Who knows, and only time will tell (i guess). I am really jealous of my hubby right now (he is staying home with the kids while he is in between jobs...only about 2 more weeks actually) but I never thought I would be. It seems like he has things at home in soo much more control than I ever did.!!! Am I just feeling guilty about not being home...or is he just "better" at it?? I dont want to admit that it could be the second one. lol. But it could be true.....but again, I will NEVER admit that to him...........my pride just wont allow it. So See, its not my fault. Its Pride's fault!! !Lol.
Anyway, I come home and the dishes, laundry and the house are clean, and the cynical part of me is thinking "there is no way"!!! He had to have some help from someone (anyone) to get all of this done. Because as every mother understands (i hope they do anyway) that we can do it all.......... and better!!!!!!!!!! I bitch because I want help...but yet, when he does it....Im jealous that he actually did it, but yet when I was home, he couldnt do it right!!! Doesnt make much sense, I know, but it is what is in my brain. Of course I am really really anal bout the house, so I dont even know why I would bitch about needing help in the first place. So, he cant win!!! Again, something i wont ever let him know about. lol.
So in conclusion, I guess I WANT IT ALL!!! And that is just not realistic, is it?? I have to let go of some control in order to be happy and content. So I am working on it.............its just a sloooowwww process!!!
until we meet again.
You know...I don't know your situation. But I know my husband was a much better stay-at-home-dad (3 years) than I would have been SAHM. He cooked, cleaned, played with the kids...he has levels of patience I can only dream of... The only thing he didn't do was put away the laundry and cook...that was my job. Along with bringing home the big bucks. haha!
ReplyDeleteOh, can I make a request. I like reading your blogs, but the font is kind of difficult on my eyes. Would you consider choosing a different font?
ReplyDeleteSure sweetie, not a problem!! :) Thanks for responding....its nice to have comments. ;) But I am glad that I am not the only one who felt that this.
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