My daughters came up to me yesterday (it was after the ambulance took my mom....again) and they patted me on the back ever so innocently and said "It will be okay Mommy"!! Wow!! Do I wish I had their optimisim or what? Of course, they didnt know what I was so sad over, because I didnt want them to know about their "nini" going into the hospital and being on the ventilator....again. They just lost Jaxon, this can wait as long as it can. I know I cant protect them forever but I can make it wait just a little while longer.
Whoever made up the saying "When it rains, it pours", it is soo very true!!! I mean for obvious reasons, but for other ones too. Why cant just one thing happen and it stay that way? Why must it have a dominoe affect too? Just because we can handle it doesnt mean we should have to, right?
Sometimes I just want to scream and say "okay god, thats enough, thanks for the compliment of thinking I can handle it, but I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"....
I think we are going to move on to a new place, not that my stress and drama and feelings wont follow me, but at least I wont be reminded of it everyday like here. ya know? I believe my mind has been made up....now its just gettin it in the works!!!!!
Until next time..............
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